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I am most myself when I am centered in a creative space. I see and feel the world differently. I am more open, more grateful, more passionate. I remain more aware of the wonder that surrounds me. Crochet is my meditation. It soothes the rough edges of my busy days. Please join me as I share the yarn I have been hooking this week.

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I am so grateful to again connect with the wonderful community of knitters and crocheters Ginny gathers together with her yarn along each week.

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mossy bridal necklace

This has been a roller coaster of a week for me. In one moment I am feeling triumphant and excited (like when I completed the necklace pictured above), in the next moment I am feeling frustrated and discouraged (like when I had to scrap a collar I work on for hours when my adaptation of the pattern just did not work). Sigh. I just have oh, so much work to do. Between mothering my four seemingly endlessly ill children, working full-time at the restaurant and trying to get Cedar Tree Crochet off the ground, I feel as though I hardly have time to sleep.

I am spending my days crocheting until my fingers are swollen, running around a busy restaurant and trying to maintain some semblance of order in this household of mine. I suppose these are the typical growing pains of someone who wants to work in a creative field. How stereotypical is it that I am waiting tables while I try to get my business off the ground? It’s a little funny, now that I actually think about it. I feel incredibly fortunate to be faced with the problem of too much work and not enough time, for this reassures me that my work is in demand and will find it’s niche. I am grateful that so many people have responded positively and are eager to purchase what I am making. I try to remain focused on what a blessing this all is.

I have never crocheted in this volume before and am learning exactly what the limits of my fingers are. I’m sure that eventually I will find a balance, but for now my poor fingers are hurting. My creative juices are flowing in fits and spurts as I try to both design a cohesive collection of accessories and manufacture the finished pieces. What a process of learning this has become for me. Working stitches, late nights, designer, manufacturer and accountant — I’m all in for this crazy ride. What a ride it is.

I think what I am feeling in this moment is both overwhelm and a huge fear of success, but I am determined to work through this. I will just keep going. No excuses.

This is my dream.

my baby business cards

When I reflect on my week, I do have more successes than failures. My work is coming along and I am beginning to see what my finished collection will look like. There are a lot of stitches between now and then, but knowing where I am going feels good. I also managed to carve out a little time to design and print out business cards. (I secretly love using my paper cutter.) So many people have asked for them I decided that they were a necessity. I do think they are lovely, don’t you? Oh, and can I just say what a thrilling feeling it is to have a little space on the web that is all mine? www.cedartreecrochet.com is a real place! Like with everything else right now, there is much work to be done before it is completed, but I have begun the process. As my collection grows and I gain a repertoire of designs I love I will be able to flesh out this sweet little space of mine.

I think it’s time to tackle that collar pattern again…

Oh, what a roller coaster ride, indeed.

the second piece i've made with my favorite pattern. still in need of the finishing touches, but lovely nonetheless, don't you think?

the second piece i’ve made with my favorite pattern. still in need of the finishing touches, but lovely nonetheless, don’t you think?

oh, the possibilities...

oh, the possibilities…

I feel I must also take a moment to recognize my husband for all of his love and endless support. He has heard more about crochet than any non-crocheter should have to and he has done so with so much patience and love. He has also rearranged his schedule to allow me more time to work and is steadily making progress on my studio. I’m one lucky lady to have such a partner in life. Thanks, Love.

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My mind quiets and my well fills when my hands are busy creating something beautiful. If you feel moved to share what you have been creating, please leave a link in the comments below so we may revel in each other’s creative pursuits.

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